#(yes for legal reasons this is all a joke)

[the-travelling-witch]

i normally don’t mind being the only person under the sun with no netflix account but every now and then they release sth that i really wanna watch but i’m too petty to get a subscription where i’d still have to watch ads and don’t even have access to everything, you fuckers

[invinciblerodent]

are you sure

are you sure about that Lucanis

because uh

motherfucker it was YOU who pinged ME

[chilling-seavey]

Ooooh saw some Oscar slander on the dash.

About to log off before I commit a felony.

[hexados-on-a-string]

there are 2 reasons why gus should've killed zenoheld in ep 39:

1. he, i assume, would've ended up covered in blood, which is very hot, which means that when he would've returned, spectra would've probably started making out with him immediately, bc personally if the most perfect and prettiest man in the universe killed for me and came home covered in blood i would have lost my mind, and i assume spectra would too (this is the most important reason)

2. zenoheld sucks or smth idk

[vampyrebellion]

More Alecdora backlogs…before I pass out for a whole day…peace

[marimayscarlett]

I WILL CONTINUE SEXUALISING THESE SLUTTY GERMAN GRANDADS!

Not sure if you should do that 👀

I mean they're so tame and just little old men. Just leave them alone with your impure and sexual thoughts 😤 They just do their silly little things in stage 🥺 Like having fun with each other in various ways 😊

Really, I have no idea why people impose such ideas on them 😞 Always remember, say no to sexualising the sex band ☝️

[purpldawne]

day one on i7

[spannardnation]

iv had a dream to overtake canon couples for a hot minute now, we are setting our sights mark my fucking words we will leave them in the DUST pretty soon

[oldmanyaoi-jpeg]

for a gay man i seem to have like a 2% success rate of actually falling in love with men

[cutieln4]

Kiss and Makeup | LN4 smau

lando norris x reader

summary: you are lando norris's makeup artist

fc: isabela merced

yourusername added to their story

caption: my face after waking up at 4 am to do ppl’s makeup

yourusername

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yourusername my life recently

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yourbsf you’re GLOWING babe

mclaren check DMs!

mclaren added to their story

caption: New stuff coming soon🤭

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user1 oh wow he's so handsome

user2 OMG IM SO HAPPY

user3 YAY NEW LANDO CONTENT

mclaren

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mclaren Some new bags have been released with our partnership with Tumi, check them out below!

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user1 he's so—HJQHSJCHJW

user2 wow😋

user3 i want to bite him

user4 I NEED HIM SO BAD

user5 anything you say sweetheart😍

user6 #needthat

user7 i'll cook and clean the dishes just one chance plsss

yourusername

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yourusername it was nice doing something else! thanks for having me! @/mclaren

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yourbsf remember me when you're famous😔

user1 IM SO JEALOUS

mclaren thanks for joining us!

user2 how does one get this job

landonorris thanks for letting me look at all ur powders!

yourusername haha ofc, anytime!

user3 OMG LANDO COMMENTED

user4 lando commented what does this meannnnnnn

landonorris

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landonorris gearing up for the next race

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user1 P1 i see the vision

user2 i love that helmet

magui_corceiro good luck!

user3 letsssgoo

yourusername good luck!

landonorris thank you! ;)

user4 🤨

user5 ?????

yourusername

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yourusername anyway i also have a life

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yourbsf body is tea tho

yourbsf GORGEOUS

user1 face card never declines

user2 i fear you are serving

landonorris pretty

yourusername thank you😊

user3 OHHHHH

user4 RIZZ?????

user5 oh to have lando norris call me pretty

user6 guys is this the start of something new?

user7 alright chill out zac efron

GQ

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GQ Racing, gaming, and padel, hear all about Lando Norris in his interview here

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user1 WOWZA

user2 another photoshoot? please tell me y/n was his makeup artist

user3 ZOO WEE MAMA🥵

user4 lando has been feeding us lately

user5 i can't handle this anymore

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caption: bros messing up the makeup😐

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user1 IM SO JEALOUS

user2 soooo are yall dating or what?

landonorris oops?

landonorris

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landonorris that's more like it

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user1 LANDO NORRIS 2X GRAND PRIX WINNER

user2 absolute domination today

user3 congrats!!

yourusername invite me next time?

landonorris yes ma'am🫡

user4 WHAT DOES THIS MEANNNNN

user5 im sick of them

maxfewtrell put a shirt on mate

user6 no we don't mind😊

yourusername

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yourusername who is this diva????

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user1 HELP I LOVE HER

user2 my b pose is naaastyyy

user3 he's so handsome

landonorris it's not too late to delete

yourusername but what fun is that???

user4 🚢🚢🚢

user5 so so jealous

user6 is she just like his permanent makeup artist now lol?

yourusername yeah he kidnapped me

landonorris for legal reasons this is a joke😑

user7 OMG

tumitravel

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tumitravel Lando Norris for TUMI

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user1 ok i'll buy the bag

user2 does lando come with the bag???

user3 yn is one lucky girl

user4 love how y'all just assume their dating

user3 well yes

user5 HOLY MOLY

yourusername wow whoever did his makeup must be really good

landonorris meh shes okay

user6 stop i love them

lando.jpg

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user1 HELP WHOS CAT IS THAT

user2 who u making heart pizza with??🤨

user3 if i say what i wanna say they'll silence me

user3 they're so dating

user4 🤫

yourusername aw cute cat

landonorris thx :)

user5 let me just sit back and observe

user6 yesss lando.jpg revival finally

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user1 where ya going?🙂

yourbsf gonna miss u when ur in singapore :(

user2 y'all so cute idec if you're dating or not

landonorris

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landonorris sing a pore

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user1 bruh

user2 hard launch on live tv goes crazy

user3 bro's just gonna ignore that EVERYONE saw that kiss

yourusername you can't keep a secret to save your life

landonorris oops🤭

yourusername you're lucky ur cute

user4 CONFIRMATION YES

user5 WAR IS OVER

user6 I WAS HERE

user7 okay but that was so fricking cute

yourusername

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yourusername muppet🙄

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user1 HELP

landonorris i said i was sorry pls

landonorris sorry again😁😁😁

landonorris where did you get these photos

user2 nahh that's crazy

user3 okay now i'm definitely jealous

user4 this is literally a wattpad story like wdym she's his makeup artist and now they're dating???

yourbsf i'd like to thank beyoncé

taglist: @evasmlp @partnerincrime0 @r0nnsblog @raizelchrysanderoctavius @daniiiboo @wisestarfishbouquet @noodleysalad @thatgirlwholikescars @jxnellat @blakebearsblog @angelluv444 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @etterdotexe @scopeiguess @noope306 @burning8wood @styl1shl1v @venusandstardust @daniellef89x @nzygftoji @laheykol06 @blodwyn4u @allthings-fandoms @woozarts @astroniii @lilorose25 @dejavuontrack @xxx-betty @wobblymug @m3ntally-unstable @armystay89 @sarakay-gvf @kar1nsworldx @velentine @rexit-mo @blodwyn4u @lammys-thinking @sam02009 @kaorisakamotofan @taylorsvogue13 @loveparkersblog @delicatetrashtree @hashmiya @noodleboyluke @crispysoup318 @kisssleeping @comicalivy @lilypat @superlegend216 @pakotrzl @heavy-vettel @ilivbullyingjeongin @theblueblub @bloodyymaryyy @stressed-cherry @da-writer @chemiru @ks001

add yourself to my taglist here!

[ihatethecrowdsyouknowthat]

legally single - spencer reid x fem!reader

on a walk of shame after a frankly devastating breakup, reader gets stopped by coworker spencer reid and he offers her a ride home

genre: hurt/comfort wc: 1.1k warnings: break up, reader wears makeup and heels, mention of vomit, unhealthy coping, protective spencer, anxiety a/n: based off the beginning of legally blonde!!! yes i wrote this instead of my requests

Heels click on the damp sidewalk in a way that feels mocking. Like a toddler, you sniffle with a humbling pout on your pink lips. You ignore the burning in your feet because you fear it’s your punishment for having so much faith in a person. It’s ridiculous, you know, but if it wasn’t for blind optimism and high expectations you probably wouldn’t be crying on the side of the road. But you don’t know if it’s fair to hate yourself for something that’s not actually your fault at all. You’re not the one who uttered the words I think we should break up. No, that was him.

Unsympathetic too.

Each syllable took an eternity to actually fucking leave his lips. Like it was all an elaborate plan to humiliate you publicly. Or at least that’s what it felt like.

It was a long relationship that ended neatly with one very simple sentence. It feels like a cosmic joke created only for the purpose of you becoming the butt of some–any–joke. Unfair.

Every car that drives by ignores your presence. To them you probably look like you’re taking a walk of shame. Maybe, in a way, you are. One car doesn’t ignore you, though. An old one that’s white or pale yellow. You barely finish the thought that it looks familiar before you see the figure behind the wheel.

He calls your name but you don’t respond. It was embarrassing enough when you were alone.

“Do you need a ride?” he asks.

You just keep on walking. His eyes flick down to your shoes, dampening against the wet concrete. You can’t even remember when it rained last. He doesn’t let you go, slowly driving alongside you until you answer.

An answer he’ll get.

“Go home, Spencer,” you grumble, squeezing your hands into fists at your sides.

Unfortunately, he knows you. “You’ll ruin your shoes.”

He’s right. But you’re not happy about it.

You get in the car, never once allowing your eyes to meet his purely for the very big reason that you’re humiliated. Because of how he does nothing but simply drives, you think he’s okay with the silence. Awkward silence is discussed so often that every time nobody speaks, you feel uncomfortable. This might be the first time you’ve been comfortable in the quiet.

Whatever that means.

The silence only lasts so long, however.

Spencer glances at the smeared makeup under your eyes. “You don't need to tell me what happened but… just know that I’m sure you're better than whoever you're crying over.”

Your eyes finally and cautiously meet his.

That boyish look that shows that he simultaneously wants to make you feel better and show he cares makes your heart sink. You hate yourself for feeling. For having a reaction to what’s surely a friendly gesture. Your stomach swirls with uncertainty.

You know he cares about you, that much is obvious just by how he acts around you. Almost like he has to physically restrain himself from stepping between you and something potentially dangerous. The small kink is that, for him, everything is a threat of danger.

His mind works in a way you’ll never understand. One simple scenario has hundreds of outcomes, each one of them assessed by him in detail. With that ability, he’s able to create alternate realities within his brain. Some of which are affected by his fears. If he can think it, it can happen. So he puts himself a few sacred steps in front of you. Every time.

Because, if anyone was getting hurt, he'd rather it be him. It’s simpler that way.

So, yes, he cares about you.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

It’s like the words register in him differently than they would to someone else. Because he looks at you like he wants to fix you so you never have to say thank you like that ever again.

You never thought you’d want a man to fix you.

The eyes you know so well seem to follow each microexpression on your face. While driving.

Somehow.

The familiar lead-up to your apartment building makes your stomach curdle. In a way that makes you feel like an expired bag of milk. You’re not sure why.

You think you might throw up.

That is, without company. 

Every time you look at the man to your left, you feel oddly at ease. Maybe he could be of service tonight. You mean, you haven’t been alone with a guy since you started dating your ex.

Ex.

It’s when he stops the car that you can’t hold it inside. The worst he can say is no.

“Spence… I really don’t want to be alone…,” you pause for a beat, looking down at your heels, “would you maybe want to come in?”

Your eyes anxiously survey his, searching for whatever it is that means he’ll say yes.

“Just for a minute?” you ask.

The gold in his irises is almost completely swallowed by his pupils, blown wide to accommodate the darkness. He considers it with a bitten bottom lip. His jaw stays stiff until he finally nods.

You try to hide the relief lacing your sigh and just get out of the car. After any emotional day, your advice is to simply go the fuck to sleep. Perhaps it's hypocritical of you to write that advice off as not relevant in this case. Perhaps you’re acting out because you think it’ll make everything go numb. It’s as if you have no control over your body because you know this is a bad idea. You know you shouldn’t be inviting your coworker up to your apartment when you’re in such a vulnerable state.

But you just don’t care.

When your feet hit the first step up, you can’t think of another way you’d be taking such a step. Having Spencer here feels like you have something tethering you to the outside. So you’re not just lonely in a place where you once were in what you thought was love.

That never meant Spencer belonged here, though.

His very presence makes you feel softer but it makes him feel indescribably lost. He wishes he could read the situation better or maybe even have the courage to ask you. His silhouette lingers in the open doorway like he knows he has a decision to make. A decision he would’ve made better any other time. 

But it’s after ten pm and he never said he was strong.

[estrellami-1]

March Mating Madness

Day 24: Arranged Marriage/Mating of Convenience & Day 25: Scentmates/Soulmates

North Dakota

Ao3 Link

“Munson,” Steve Harrington says, standing on his doorstep, because apparently this is the bullshit the universe is throwing at him today.

He sighs, steps outside. Leans against the doorframe with crossed arms and feigned nonchalance. “I don’t sell from home,” he tells Harrington. “You wanna buy, you can do it at the table behind the school.”

“No, I- I’m not here to buy,” he says. Eddie looks closer, realizes the confidence is feigned bravado. He’s scared.

Eddie narrows his eyes. “Then what are you here for?”

“A mating, hopefully.” He sighs, runs a hand through his perfect hair. “Listen, can I come in? Can we not discuss this outside? ‘Cause I know El’s here with Max and if I know them as well as I think I do, they’re spying on us.”

Eddie blinks, flicks his eyes over to the Mayfields’ trailer. Sure enough, a curtain slots back into place.

Eddie narrows his eyes again, but steps inside, holding the door open for Harrington. “Shoes off. How do you know Mayfield?”

“She’s pack,” he says simply, toeing his shoes off just inside the door. “They both are. There’s some boys too, you might’ve seen Lucas before? Sinclair? He and Max are dating. We’re all pack.”

Eddie motions to the couch, sits down. “You said you’re here for a mating.”

Harrington looks down at his hands, clasped in his lap. “Yeah.”

“I think I’m gonna need a little more than yeah, Harrington.”

He winces. “Um. My parents? They’re trying to marry me off to the highest bidder.”

Eddie’s brow hits the ceiling. “You? King Steve? No way.”

He winces again. “Could you please not call me that? I get that you hate me, and you have every right to, but I’m trying not to be that guy anymore.”

Eddie tilts his head in thought, then nods. “Alright. Still doesn’t mean I believe you.”

Irritation flickers over Harrington’s features. “Why the fuck else would I ask you to mate me, dude?”

Eddie shrugs. “A dare? Laugh at the Freak when he says yes? Any number of reasons, really.”

He scrubs his hands over his face. “I was really shitty to a lot of people,” he starts quietly. “And I get that this might be, like… cosmic judgement, or something. But I refuse to mate the person my parents want me to.”

“Why?”

He sighs. “Take your pick, man. It’s a business deal. He made a joke with my dad about, like, smacking me around, and… compliance, or some shit. He doesn’t see me as a person, he sees me as an object. Some… thing to have sex with whenever he wants it. To hell with whether or not I want it. He’s controlling, manipulative, and I know he won’t be faithful. It’ll be a miracle if I don’t get rejection sickness within the first year.”

Eddie blinks, sits back. “Shit, man.” He thinks for a moment. “And you’re asking for a bite because?”

“If I’m mated, my parents have no recourse, legal or otherwise. A bite should be enough to get them off my back.”

“And if it’s not?”

Harrington shrugs. “I run, I guess. I’ve got- y’know Robin? Buckley? From band?”

“I know of her, sure.”

“She’s… she’s my best friend. Like, in the entire world. She knows what my parents are planning. And if it comes down to it, we’ll run. We’ve got some savings tucked away, but it’s not much. But my whole life is here, my pack is here, and my parents aren’t. Much, at least. I don’t want to leave, at least not without my pack.”

“So why not ask her for her bite? She’s an Alpha too, right?”

“She is, but…” he shakes his head. “I can’t. Mostly because she’d do it.”

“And that’s a bad thing because?”

“Because it would fade. Or we’d separate, because as much as we’re gonna be in each other’s lives for the rest of our lives, we’re not… like that. We’re not meant to be together like that. And I can’t put her through that pain and heartbreak, if I have to bite her too.” He quirks a corner of his lips up. “Plus she’s a terrible liar. My parents would see straight through her.”

“And how do you know I’m a good liar?”

Hazel eyes flick over to him. “You were in theater. I took an educated guess.”

Eddie snorts despite himself. “That’s fair, I guess.” He tilts his head, sighs. “I’m still not sure you’re telling the truth, but say I believe you. What would I have to do?”

He works his lip. “It should just be a bite. That should be enough for them.”

“And if it’s not?”

He shrugs miserably. “I run, I guess. I go to Robin and we run.”

“And you think you won’t get isolation sickness from leaving your pack so quickly?”

“What other choice do I have?” He bursts out, an angry whine tearing its way out of his throat. “I can’t do what my parents want and if I stay in this town there’s no way for me to get away from them! I probably will end up sick but it’s better than fucking killing myself!”

“Shit,” Eddie whispers.

Steve puts his head in his hands. “I can’t,” he whispers. “I would. I’d find a way to kill myself because I know my parents and I know my dad’s friends. There’s no way I’d make it one step out of the door before they find me again. It’s running or suicide but I don’t actually want to die.” He sighs, long and drawn-out. “Yet.”

“Okay,” Eddie decides.

Steve peeks up at him. “Okay?”

“I’ll bite you. If your parents want to meet me, you’ll bite me. We’ll find a way to dissolve it after that won’t end up in sickness.”

Steve studies him. “You mean it.”

Eddie spreads his hands. “What gave it away?”

He cracks a smile. “Mostly the lack of any jokes.”

Eddie snickers, stands. “C’mon. I was about to make lunch when you showed up. Hungry?”

“Oh,” he says. “Yeah, actually. Thank you.”

Eddie makes mac and cheese, silently daring Steve to say something about the box, but he just meekly thanks Eddie when he’s handed a bowl.

“Y’know,” Eddie starts, mouth full, “you’re not who I thought you were.”

Steve blinks down at his bowl. “Um. Thank you?”

Eddie grins. “Yeah, it’s a compliment.” He swallows, looks down at his bowl to scrape together another bite. “Thought you were perfect, in the worst sense of the word. You’ve got the hair, the looks, the car… people of every secondary gender lusting after you. What could you possibly not have? Especially that I do?” He shrugs. “Choice, apparently.”

Steve huffs a breath out. Eddie thinks it might be a laugh, or something trying to be one, in any case. “Yeah. Most castles are also dungeons.”

“Shit,” Eddie murmurs, leaning back in his seat and regarding Steve with wide eyes. “You’re kinda metal, Harrington, you know that?”

He looks up at Eddie uncertainly. “Is that a good thing?”

“Hell yeah that’s a good thing,” Eddie agrees, stuffing another bite into his mouth. “You want the bite today? Or was today to just pitch the idea to me?”

“No, I- if I can, if you don’t mind- today, please.”

Eddie leans back, looks at the clock. “You got anywhere to be in… six-ish hours?”

“Um,” Steve says. “No?”

“Cool. I live here with my uncle, and he’s chill, he won’t mind, but he’ll definitely mind not knowing about it.”

“Oh,” Steve says. “Okay, yeah. Makes sense, I guess. So… you want to wait until after you tell him?”

“After we tell him. If you don’t mind telling him.”

“No, I don’t mind.”

“Okay. Until then,” Eddie grins, “I’m pretty sure you should know your Alpha more than just surface-level. Your parents are gonna have questions, right?”

“Probably,” Steve agrees, looking vaguely nauseous.

Eddie tilts his head. “Can I ask a question?”

“You just did,” Steve retorts, then colors. “Sorry. Yeah.”

Eddie snickers. “You’re kinda bitchy. I like it. Do you wear blockers because you want to or because you’re forced to?”

Steve’s breath catches in his throat. He glances at Eddie’s neck, his uncovered gland. “It’s- it’s not proper,” he starts, then bites his lip.

“That what your parents tell you?”

Steve nods.

Eddie hums. “I don’t mind. Wayne won’t, either. If you want to take the patches off.” He frowns. “Do you- wear them at home, too?”

Steve sighs, won’t meet his eyes. “I think, maybe, me being an omega is the improper thing.”

“Well fuck that,” Eddie says, grinning and winking at Steve. “C’mon. I’ll show you mine?”

Steve giggles, glancing at Eddie before looking away and peeling the patch off.

In just a minute, a new scent starts to filter through the trailer. Peaches and raspberries, and something a little sour from the anxiety starting to show on his face.

Eddie sends out reassurance, calm-happy Alpha scent. He knows from Wayne that it smells like pine and petrichor, and as soon as Steve gets a sniff he begins to calm down. “Oh,” he murmurs, glancing at Eddie’s neck, then back away. “You, um.” His cheeks flush. “You smell good.”

Eddie chuckles. “Thanks. You too. I like fruit.”

“Um,” Steve says, confused, “I like fruit, too?”

“No, ‘cause- ‘cause of your scent? Peaches and raspberries.”

Steve shakes his head, brows furrowed. “Robin says I scent like marshmallows,” he says. “What, um- what do people say you scent like?”

Eddie’s heart slams double-time in his chest. Says quietly, “I’m guessing to you I don’t smell like pine and petrichor?”

Steve’s eyes widen as he shakes his head again. “You scent like the beach, to me,” he whispers. “And, like- sunset? I know that doesn’t make sense, but-”

“No, I- I get it. The moment when the sun goes down and it gets cooler?”

“Yeah,” Steve murmurs, eyes still saucer-wide. “Are we-”

“Looks like it,” Eddie agrees, glancing at Steve’s neck and leaning over, extending a hand, stopping just before he touches. “Can I?”

Steve nods, eyes wide, so Eddie does, rubs their glands together. His eyes widen at the feeling that zings through him. He keeps a tight leash on his scent until he smells the peaches and raspberries bloom, sweet and floral and fruity. His eyes widen even more. “You’re… happy?”

The fruit suddenly turns, goes bad. “Um.”

“No, shit, I-” he scrambles over on the couch, grabs Steve’s hands, lets his own scent bloom and fill out, tangible happiness. “Steve.”

Fruit turns ripe again as Steve’s eyes meet Eddie’s. “You are too?”

“I’m a fuckin’ idiot,” Eddie tells him, “but yeah.”

“You are not.”

“Mhm. So is now a good or a bad time to tell you about the embarrassing crush I had on you starting your junior year?”

“No,” Steve gasps. “Really?”

“Yup. ‘Course, I a little bit hated you too, but that’s a separate issue.”

Steve snickers. “Of course.” He softens as he watches Eddie. “I am glad it’s you,” he says softly. “Out of everyone.”

“Why?”

Steve looks down at their hands, still intertwined. “The Alpha my parents chose for me wouldn’t let me make my own decisions. Would decide everything for me. Probably enforce a strict regimen for me. I’d be… nothing to him. He wouldn’t see me as a person. But you will.”

“Of course I would,” Eddie bites out, scent going tar-sharp. “Because you’re a fucking human being.”

Steve shrugs, squeezes his fingers a little. “He wouldn’t see it that way. A lot of people—Alphas, really, especially in the business world—still see omegas, especially male omegas, as… secondary. Sub-human.”

“Which is fucking stupid.” Eddie sighs. “Wayne’s a beta, so he… kinda gets it, y’know? So I kinda get it, like, by proxy.”

Steve hums, shifts. “Yeah. Okay, this is a complete one-eighty, but… I mentioned Robin, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. She’s my absolute best friend in the entire world, we’re closer than anyone. She’s an Alpha but we’re not, like, together. Is that… going to be a problem?”

Eddie makes a face. “What the fuck? No! Be friends with who you want to be friends with!”

“Oh, thank god,” Steve whispers, sagging against the couch. “We’re basically siblings, except we tell each other everything, and I do mean everything, and-”

Eddie snickers. “You wanna call her and tell her we’re scentmates.”

“Yes!” Steve exclaims, then pulls back. “Unless- is that-”

“It’s fine, is what it is. She’s probably gonna threaten me, isn’t she?”

“Yeah. Uh. She might threaten you. Sorry in advance if she does.”

“Steve,” Eddie says quietly, “you don’t ever have to apologize for someone loving you so completely.”

“Oh,” Steve whispers, staring at Eddie.

He inclines his head with a small smile. “Phone’s right there. Want me to talk to her after?”

“I- yeah, she- like we said, she’s gonna want to talk to you.” He frowns at Eddie. “You really don’t care?”

“That you’re friends? No.”

“We’re, like- it’s not just friends, though. She’s my soulmate.”

Eddie snickers. “As long as she’s not your scentmate. That would merit a talk.”

Steve smiles. “No, we’re not scentmates. Just… closer than any non-bonded people have any right being.”

“Steve,” Eddie reminds him, “my nickname is the freak. I’m pretty sure you can’t out-freak me.”

“You’d be surprised,” Steve murmurs, walking over to the phone and dialing Robin’s number.

They speak for a few minutes before he calls Eddie over. “Please be nice,” he begs her, then hands the phone over.

“-talking about, I’m always nice,” Robin retorts.

Eddie blinks. “Hello?”

“Eddie.”

“That’s me.”

“You’re Steve’s scentmate.”

“I mean. Yeah?”

Robin hums. “How do you feel about it?”

“Honestly?” He smiles at Steve. “Really good. I’m really happy.”

“And he explained how close we are?”

“He did.”

“What did you say?”

“He apologized for you threatening me, and I told him he never needs to apologize for someone loving him so completely.”

“Oh, shit,” Robin says knowingly. “Did he cry?”

“Almost,” Eddie chuckles. “Listen, Robin, you can properly threaten me later, but he wanted to call you as soon as we found out, so we haven’t really gotten a chance to talk yet. Maybe the three of us could do lunch later this week? My treat?”

“If you’re trying to bribe me out of threatening you, it’s only a little bit working. Lunch sounds good. Tuesday?”

“Tuesday?” Eddie asks Steve, who thinks, then nods. “Tuesday works,” he confirms.

“Tell Robin I’ll pick her up,” Steve whispers.

“Tell Steve he’s picking me up,” Robin says.

Eddie blinks, then bursts out laughing. “You two just said the exact same thing at the exact same time.”

“Yeah,” Steve nods.

“We do that,” Robin finishes.

Eddie shakes his head. “Damn that’s freaky. Okay, see you Tuesday, Robin.”

“Yup.” She hangs up, so he does the same, then pulls Steve back over to the couch.

“So.”

“So,” Steve parrots.

“We should probably talk more about your parents.”

Steve groans. “Probably.”

“If- if you don’t want to-”

“No, it’s- I can, just-” he bites his lip, looks at Eddie, looks away.

“What?” Eddie asks softly.

“Can, uh. Like, the hands is nice, but can we-”

“Oh,” Eddie says, catching on, “yeah, sweetheart, come here.”

Steve trills softly as he settles by Eddie’s side, leaning on him, resting his head on Eddie’s shoulder. “So. What do you want to know?”

“I think it’s more a question of what they’re going to want to know about me. I know the type of person you’re talking about. I know I do my best to not associate with them.”

Steve scoffs. “Sounds like a dream.”

“It takes some work, but it’s worth it. You hopin’ to distance yourself from them?”

“I think so. Especially now- I never thought…”

“Yeah,” Eddie murmurs, pulling him in closer, as if he could protect Steve from the thoughts in his own head. “You never think it could be you until it is.”

“Exactly,” Steve murmurs back, then sighs. “They’re going to want to know that you can provide for me. Not because they care about me, because they care about their image.”

Eddie snorts. “They’re going to love the fact that I’m a drug dealer, then.”

Steve giggles. “Probably not. Anything they’re going to want to know about you… they’re not interested in getting to know you. They’re interested only in their status, in how other people see them. In the stories they can bring back to their friends to prove that they’re better.”

“Well ain’t we just a slap in the face,” Eddie mutters, lip quirking up.

“We really are,” Steve agrees. “I don’t care, though. Once we’re bonded… you’re my Alpha. They have no legal recourse.”

“Would they try something illegal?”

Steve sighs. “Maybe. Probably. Depends on how much this Alpha was gonna pay them.”

Eddie’s silent for a minute. “I’ll have to talk to Wayne, but it shouldn’t be an issue. Space’ll be a little tight but I’ll find a job, I know the mechanic’s hiring and Bill’s a friend of Wayne’s, owes him a favor I think.”

Steve shifts back to look up at Eddie, brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

Eddie blinks at him. “You moving in.” He waves a hand around. “If they’re gonna try something illegal, it’s gonna be a hell of a lot harder to do if you no longer live in their house.” He pauses suddenly. “I mean, of course, if you’d rather not move in, I get it-”

“You were right,” Steve says, snuggling back in to Eddie’s side, happy omega scent blooming. “You are an idiot. Of course I want to move in with you.” A pause, then, “you’d get a job?”

“Course I would. I need to take care of you, don’t I? Buy you sweet things to make you smile? Your favorite candy just because? A flower because I like the way you blush?” A blush crawls up Steve’s cheeks, and Eddie leans in to nuzzle it. “All those things cost money, darlin’, and dealing is a nice hobby, but it ain’t gonna cut it as my only source of income.” He shifts, shrugs. “‘Sides, uh. I dunno if you want pups? But I know what growing up as the son of a dealer was like, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

Steve looks up at him, wide-eyed. “But not- you said-”

“Not Wayne,” Eddie soothes. “He’s my dad’s brother in name only. Dear ol’ Pa, may the devil be tap-dancing on his soul, was the drug addict of the family. Taught me some things, though. Like how to hotwire a car.”

Steve snickers. “Please don’t.”

“What if it’s your car? And you’re right there watching me?”

Steve wiggles around, turning where he sits to face Eddie and cup his face in his palms. “Eddie,” he begins, eyes wide and serious. “My car is my baby. You are not touching her.”

“Noted,” Eddie agrees. “Idea forgotten.” A pause, “your parents’ car?”

Steve collapses in laughter, leaning forward so his forehead rests on Eddie’s shoulder as he shakes with the force of his giggles.

He calms down a few minutes later, relaxing into the feeling of Eddie running a hand up and down in his back. “In all seriousness,” he tells Eddie, “they’ll definitely have you arrested for that. And it’ll be a hell of a lot easier to do what they want with me if my Alpha’s locked up.”

Eddie’s scent sours. “I was due for a pickup in about a week or so,” Eddie says thoughtfully. “I’ll tell Rick I can’t make it, won’t be his gofer any more. We can smoke the rest of my stash, it’s just weed. I’ll talk to Wayne tonight about talking with Bill sometime soon.”

“Eddie-”

“Steve,” Eddie interrupts softly, shaking his head with a small smile. “I was pretty done anyways. It’s no secret I had to retake senior year twice, and it’s a badly-kept secret that I’m a dealer. It doesn’t take much to put two and two together, even if it’s not right. People weren’t really buying anymore anyways.”

Steve looks up at Eddie. “Why did you have to repeat twice?”

Eddie hums. “Honestly? I kept forgetting to turn in my homework first go ‘round, and the second I decided I just… didn’t really care. This year I stepped it up, turned in my work, actually came to class… hell, I even participated in gym. I want to be the first in my family to graduate.”

“You will be,” Steve whispers. “I believe in you.”

Eddie hides his smile in Steve’s hair. “I’m glad.”

They spend the next hour or so talking on the couch until Wayne gets back, blinking at the boys cuddling on the couch, then moving on to the kitchen. “I’m makin’ grilled cheese, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

“Sit down,” Eddie calls back, laughing. “That’s your tired meal, old man, you can’t hide from me. And we wanna talk to you anyways.”

Wayne sighs and sits in his chair, nodding at Steve. “Hello.”

“Hello, sir.”

“Wayne,” he corrects kindly. “I recognize you.”

“You, uh. You probably know my father.”

Wayne smiles. “Probably. ‘Ve been here long enough, I recognize just ‘bout everybody.” His eyes turn kinder, somehow. “Who’s your father, boy?”

Steve looks down. Eddie tightens his hold on Steve’s shoulders. “Richard Harrington.”

Wayne hums. “Yeah, I know ‘im. Knew ‘im, more like, left soon as he was able. Came back with a pretty little wife from the big city.” He leans slightly, catches Steve’s eye. “In this house, we don’t judge based on who your daddy is.”

“Thank you,” Steve whispers.

Wayne leans back, nods. “Now. Eddie?”

Eddie shakes his head. “It’s his story, Wayne. What I can tell you…” he looks down at Steve, smiles. “We’re scentmates.”

Wayne inhales sharply. “Well then,” he says, smiling at Steve again, “welcome home.”

Steve immediately tears up. “Shit,” he mutters, pawing at his face. “Sorry, I’m- thank you, I’m sorry, I don’t-”

Eddie shushes him, pushes his hands down, gently wipes his face. “Hey, sweetness, it’s okay. A little water never hurt anybody.”

Steve sniffles. “Hurt the wicked witch of the west.”

Eddie giggles. “Then it’s a good thing no one here’s a witch, huh?” He pushes out comfort, and Steve relaxes into him, letting his eyes flutter shut as Eddie wipes underneath them with his thumbs. “You’re home,” he whispers. “Wanna tell Wayne why?”

Steve looks up at him with hopeful eyes. “Can you?”

Eddie holds his gaze for a minute, then pulls Steve back in. “Sure I can.”

He tells Wayne what led Steve to the trailer earlier that afternoon. Wayne stays silent, then when Eddie’s finished, he nods. “Alright. So what’s for dinner?”

Eddie immediately looks to Steve, who shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. I’m not picky.”

“Steve,” Eddie tells him, “you’re both a guest and my mate. You get to decide.”

Steve’s eyes sparkle. “Then I decide that I don’t want to decide.”

Eddie narrows his eyes at Steve just as Wayne bursts out laughing. “You’re gonna be good for him, kid,” Wayne tells Steve, who grins back. “Grilled cheese sound okay to you?”

“Sure,” Steve agrees. “I can help?”

Wayne shrugs an unaffected shoulder. “You could,” he says. “Or you two could go into his room an’ make it official. And do whatever comes after that.”

Steve blushes at the implication, but can’t argue that he’s practically itching for Eddie’s bite. He turns to ask Eddie and is arrested by the look in his eyes.

“Up to you,” Eddie murmurs, hungry eyes tracking Steve’s every move.

Steve nods, stands, and approaches Wayne. He pitches his voice low as he asks where Eddie’s room is, and after Wayne tells him—also quietly—he glances back at Eddie, just once, before taking off.

He hears Eddie laugh behind him as he scrambles off the couch. “Oh, you fucker!” Eddie yells gleefully, chasing him into his room and tackling him onto the bed, laughing along with Steve up until he pushes his nose into Steve’s scent gland and inhales.

Steve whimpers loudly and pushes at Eddie’s chest. “The- get the door, please, Eddie-”

Eddie rolls off the bed with a half-hearted grumble and shuts the door before jumping back onto the bed, bracketing Steve with a grin. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Steve giggles.

“Are you ready?”

Steve settles his hands on Eddie’s waist. “Are you?”

“Almost,” he admits. “It feels a little weird, biting you before kissing you.”

A slight tug on his hips. “We can change that.” Steve leans up a little, nudges their noses together. Eddie pushes in until Steve’s laying down again. Eddie slides his nose off to the side, landing on Steve’s cheek as his lips barely brush Steve’s.

The grip on his hips tighten. “Don’t tease,” Steve begs, and Eddie acquiesces.

He pushes in harder, locking their lips together in a kiss that goes from zero to one hundred in less than a second as Steve parts his lips on a moan.

Eddie licks in between them with no hesitation. His aim is sucking Steve’s soul out from between his teeth, and based on the whimper that escapes, he’s successful.

He pulls back to pant out, “fuck, where’ve you been all my life, sweetheart?”

Steve gives a breathless laugh. “Right here, apparently, if it weren’t for my parents.”

“Fuck ‘em,” Eddie agrees. “Wanna bite you, baby, wanna show ‘em, give you my mark. Can I?”

“Fuck,” Steve breathes out, writhing. “Please, want it, Eddie, want you-”

“Yeah, I gotcha, baby, I gotcha, gonna mate you, omega-”

He latches his teeth into Steve’s skin and he goes boneless. “Alpha,” he whispers, horny and reverent, fingers pressing flower petal bruises into his hips.

“C’mon, ‘mega,” Eddie whispers back, blood in his teeth and sliding down his throat like honey. “Want your bite too, wanna complete it. Want you to feel me like I feel you.”

“Yeah,” Steve whispers, leaning up. “Yeah, please, wan’it-”

“Take it,” Eddie whispers, and slots his mark into Steve’s mouth.

Steve bites down and moans, and then Eddie moans, and he nudges his hips into Steve’s one last time—when had he even started?—and comes as Steve stiffens up, also coming.

Eddie collapses onto Steve, nudging his nose into Steve’s gland, as they both get their breath back.

“Fuck,” Steve breathes. “Shit. I didn’t know it could be that good.”

Eddie snickers. “And we haven’t even done anything yet.”

Steve looks at him mock-seriously. “I might actually die.”

Eddie laughs and starts sucking a bruise into Steve’s jaw. “Nah,” he pulls back to say. “I’ll be careful with you.”

“Fuck,” Steve mutters. “Eddie, can’t go again this soon.” He pushes ineffectually at Eddie’s shoulder, and Eddie moves away from his jaw, kissing up his cheek and over to his mouth instead.

“I wanna say something crazy right now,” he tells Steve.

Steve’s eyebrows raise. “I doubt anything could be crazier than asking an Alpha you barely know to mate them.”

Eddie crawls up Steve’s body and rolls them over on the their sides. Says into Steve’s hair, “I love you.”

Steve pulls back to see his face. “You do?”

Eddie nods. “I know it’s insane, and way too soon-”

Steve bursts into tears.

Eddie’s heart drops somewhere into his left thigh. “Baby?”

Steve cries harder, but he’s still scenting sweet as pie, and Eddie is thoroughly confused.

He decides to give Steve a few minutes, and eventually he calms down, wiping at his face and sniffling. “Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Eddie tells him softly. “I’m just confused.”

“I just…” Steve waves a hand around, laughs at himself a little. “I fall fast, and I fall hard, and I’ve never… I’ve never met anyone who falls like I do. And it’s always me getting left with the broken heart. So for you to say it first, and after, like, three hours… I mean, yeah, it’s insane, but holy shit, Eddie, I love you too.”

“Oh,” Eddie says. “Good.”

Steve giggles, pressing back into Eddie’s chest. “Yeah. Good.”

Eddie sighs, wraps Steve up in a hug. “Now there’s just one thing to figure out.”

“What’s that?”

Eddie hums. “It’s not really an if Wayne heard us. These walls are ‘bout as thick as paper. So the question is, do you think we can sneak out the window, escape to North Dakota, and change our names?”

Steve giggles again. “Change our names? Who’d you be?”

“Hm,” Eddie thinks. “I always liked the name Joseph.”

Steve pulls back. “No!”

Eddie blinks. “No?”

“That’s my middle name!”

“Oh, shit!” Eddie laughs. “No wonder I like it!” He nudges Steve’s cheek with his nose. “What name would you choose?”

Steve sighs, settles back into Eddie’s chest. “I like the name Elias,” he admits softly.

Eddie’s quiet for a few moments. “Can I say something else crazy?”

“Hm?”

“I like Joseph Elias. As a baby name.”

Steve’s arms tighten around Eddie’s waist. “Yeah,” he breathes out. “Me too.”

A little over a year later, Steve holds Joseph in his arms as Eddie watches. “Our North Dakota boy,” Eddie murmurs, petting over Steve’s hair.

“Ours,” Steve agrees quietly, smiling up at Eddie.

[versias]

Deadman’s Post

You know those gimmick twitter/tumblr accounts that ask a single question and then report the answer to it every day? The ones that are like, “is such-and-such politician dead yet?” or “is there a reboot for this franchise yet?” And then every post is “No”, every day.

Yeah. Danny has one of those. The question in his header is “Have the Anti-Ecto Control Acts been repealed yet?”

The answer, as with most of these accounts, is no.

Sometimes he’ll rephrase the question: “is it still legal to torture and experiment on ghosts?” (“Yes.”), “is being dead still a punishable offense?”, (“Yes”), “do ghosts have rights yet?” (“No.”).

It takes a while for the account to get any traction. Most people encounter the posts when people share the more humorously phrased ones. Most people think it’s a joke. Despite the fact that Danny has the text of the AECA hyperlinked in his bio, people rarely consider it to be a REAL issue. How could it be? It’s absurd! The US government criminalized being a ghost? In what world would that even be an issue? What’re they gonna do? Arrest a ghost? Handcuff a zombie?

Danny has a scheduled post made, one set to go out a week after his last post, if he ever stops posting. As insurance. Or maybe a cry for help. Or a final defiant statement, saying he mattered. He was a person, even if he wasn’t completely alive.

Then he stops posting. Those who followed the account out of curiosity or because whoever ran it was always funny in the replies don’t notice it’s stopped posting until the final post is sent as scheduled.

The account and the final post go viral:

“If you’re seeing this message, I haven’t been able to make a post in a week. Given that I’ve posted from different dimensions and while impossibly injured (thanks ghost hunters! [sarcasm]), the only reason I have stopped posting is because I’ve been caught. I am likely being held against my will by government agents, possibly being experimented on or otherwise Ended.

Please don’t forget me.

Sincerely, Danny Phantom”

Accompanying this post is a picture of Danny giving the camera a peace sign and a link to a drive containing all the documentation Team Phantom managed to put together on their own, as well as recorded interviews by both ghosts and humans in Amity Park.

People take notice when a kid goes missing and, apparently, tells the authorities exactly what happened to him on social media.

It was probably inevitable that some of those people would have the power to DO something about it.

[yuri-is-online]

Why So Rude? (Or Yuu's BF Asks Crewel for their Hand in Marriage and What Happens Next Will Shock You)

For legal reasons, this is a joke. I have been dealing with a health issue of sorts (i am not dying so no worrying ok? just v annoyed) so writing longer stuff is escaping me at the moment, enjoy some crack while I take a breather. More can be found on my masterlist here.

NO (FLOYD, Rook, and Malleus)

Crewel has been in denial about this "relationship" since it started. Not that his disapproval is really going to stop Floyd, but Crewel 100% refers to him as "Yuu's ex boyfriend" much to the confusion of... everyone who hears that. They do find some common ground in their shared interest in fashion, but Crewel has never forgiven him for his behavior in his class OR his "stealing" Yuu's heart.

Rook on the other hand he didn't have too much of an issue with until he realized just how familiar he seemed to be with his home for someone who had supposedly only been there to visit you. The twenty page letter he wrote to confess his feelings to you didn't help either once he saw the few lines where Rook wrote about the beauty of your finger prints, but he knows his disapproval means very little to someone as obsessed with romance as Rook.

Malleus... is the King of a country genuinely hostile to humans and Crewel thinks he is a little too obsessed with Yuu for his own good. He is also not a fan of how condescending Malleus is towards his disapproval, but it's an issue that will be worked out eventually. They are fighting out of love for the same person, your safety and happiness is all they really care about at the end of the day.

No, but as a joke (Sebek and Jack)

I don't think he has anything against him really, he just wants to see how important tradition and the opinion of his elders actually is to him. When Sebek begins to plead his case because he does not wish to put a wedge between Yuu and their father figure, but cannot deny his feelings for Yuu Crewel's more than happy to "change his mind." He knows you will be happy and well looked after.

Jack is a solid partner, and he is a wolf beastman who speaks of Yuu as his soulmate, his one and only, his eternal life partner and- well. Crewel just can't resist a bit of teasing, he's always been so serious and easy to fluster about these sort of things. The sheepish look on his face when he realizes Crewel has been teasing him makes it very worth it.

I can't stop you can I... (Leona, Kalim, and Rollo)

While Crewel has faith that Leona has what it takes to save his home- he lives in the Sunset Savannah. That is really far away from the Queendom of Roses ( ; ω ; ) have some pity on your poor father he can't travel that far all the time it's bad for his skin. The pressures of being the partner of royalty is something he worries over, but a smug promise from Leona to protect you soothes his worries somewhat.

The flippant way Kalim talks about the assassination attempts is not the way Crewel wants to hear about attempts on your life or heaven forbid your death. Kalim is very sympathetic to this, he has no real argument against how ignorant he was in the past, but he isn't a child anymore. Just filled with a childlike love for the world and determination to make it better. It is hard to say no to that.

Rollo is too much like Trein. His request for your hand in marriage feels like something that the old man would cry tears of genuine joy over, so of course he hates it. Unfortunately he also knows how much this teen grandfather matters to you or whatever so the answer will be yes. At least he has an excuse to visit Fleur City more now.

Give me one good reason. (Azul, Jade, Idia, and Lilia)

Azul was such a good student that he should have zero complaints that you started dating. But he also isn't blind and dislikes being pandered to, which is very much what Azul is doing here. He does wonder briefly if this is a cultural thing and he is being insensitive, but he is still exasperated enough to not immediately say yes. The strange twinkle that comes to Azul's eyes at the prospect of negotiations makes him wish he had though.

Speaking of not being blind, what does the Leech family do and is it legal? Survey says probably yes, but Crewel remembers dealing with Jade's parents while he was in school and has no desire to feed his child to the shar- err eels. Jade immediately begins to sniffle, oh how could Crewel say such bad things about him? A poor innocent eel and blah blah blah. If Jade wasn't such a good partner he'd be cooked.

Crewel understands and appreciates the effort Idia has put in to his personal growth and he has no desire to shit on that... but S.T.Y.X. and the secrecy around it is no joke. He wants to continue having a relationship with Yuu and as soon as Idia reassures him of that he has no more objections.

Lilia is an old man, a war criminal, and a father. Of course Crewel has seen how he was able to live as a student while at NRC but his own credit as a father would be under fire if he didn't object mildly. Lilia has some fun with it and has a bit more respect for him for objecting. So long as the eventual answer is yes.

Yes (Riddle, Trey, Cater, Ruggie, Jamil, and Epel)

While Crewel does have some red flag concerns concerning Riddle's mother, he has no real objections to Riddle himself. He is a perfect gentlemen and the correct amount of nervous to be asking the question. He gets full marks, as if there would ever be any other outcome.

Trey is that sort of solid option that parents really love, but he also has that tight personal relationship with Crewel from his Science Club days. He lives in the Queendom and is tight with his own family there are few better places for Yuu to be.

While Cater isn't Crewel's favorite student, he doesn't hate him or the Shaftlands. He is also not entirely unconvinced that him asking is for a magicam trend but! He has no real major objections. He is more than ready to have two kids, as soon as Cater is willing to admit he could use a stable father figure.

I don't think that Ruggie would even suggest marrige unless he's obtained that stable, high paying job he so baldy wants and has moved his Granny out of the slums. It's the perfect time to ask for permission to propose, and while the Savannah is still super far away (r.i.p. Crewel's skin) he is much more supportive of the two of you and how far you've come.

Similarly to Ruggie, I don't think Jamil would propose to Yuu unless his personal issues with Kalim and his position with the Asim's had been sorted. He wants to actually travel on his honeymoon, and Crewel is very willing to suggest the Queendom of Roses. Jamil's ego is absolutely stroked by how Crewel had zero objections but your adoptive dad doesn't get to see how smug it makes him, Jamil saves the smirks for when you say yes.

I think that Crewel seems to like all of the first years, and Epel is no exception. Sure, his request starts out well put together and polite but devolves into a dialect that leaves Crewel with no idea of what he's saying, but he has a general idea. Of course Epel has his blessing, Harveston sounds like a lovely place for Yuu to live their life in Twisted Wonderland and Epel a perfect person to keep them safe and happy.

He already planned the wedding (Ace, Deuce, Silver and Vil)

I know what you're saying. Crewel approving of Ace? Of course he does! He was in his homeroom class, and Crewel has a soft spot for trouble makers from the Queendom, he was one after all! Sure he might have had some problems with him when you first started dating, but now, when he is deathly serious saying he wants to spend the rest of his life with you? Crewel has been waiting for this since he fist saw carrot head yanking your chain.

Deuce is a much easier sell, Crewel was always a bit harsh on his intelligence, but only because he ran a tight ship and wanted him to reach for the stars. Well he has, and he has you to support him through it, Crewel is so proud of both. He and Dilla have absolutely been hypothetically planning this for years.

While Silver's curse did not endear him to Crewel for his first two years of schooling, he really grew on him when you started going out. He's glad that you've found someone who loves you as much as Silver does, really he is. Unfortunately this means he has to plan a wedding with Lilia, something they both have been doing since you started going out and never talked about. Don't worry! They only intend to fight a lot little bit.

The instant you started dating Vil Crewel entered his mother of the bride era. The permission asking was less Vil wanting to be polite and more him coming up with a way to distract him and convince him to focus on designing the clothes. Thankfully it works and no one other than his dogs have to know just how insane the prospect of his two favorite students marrying made him.

[frystsnow]

ㅤ❝wouldn't that be the dream! but, uh, no.❞ㅤan exasperated huff, treating the scenario like a dreaded chore rather than a looming threat with devastating consequences! gait remains steady and confident nonetheless, eyes set on snowfalling clouds above.ㅤ❝it never really goes away, i think. nightmares can worm through the cracks, but that's why we're there to make sure the light stays in.❞

ㅤa cant of his head towards the keyblade hero, eyebrow raised.ㅤ❝that's what you're doin' too, right sora? the other guardians speak pretty highly of ya. north especially!❞

was he making a face? maybe it had been at the part about nightmares literally exploding with the touch of a finger — not even the strongest he knew ( riku ) could do something like that! ❛ sorry, that just sounds incredible! i almost can’t believe it, to think someone was able to take on the darkness like that.. ❜ if it wasn’t for jack personally being there, sora’s not sure he would’ve believed him! ❛ and the darkness hasn’t come back since then? ❜

[bittertasteofhoney]

Good Day Sunshine | Ch. 6

Your Lips, My Lips

Summary: The tension between you and Joel finally snaps and the two of you become tangled in more ways than one.

|| smutty smut smut, light angst,  jackson!joel,  jackson!joel x f!reader, unprotected sex (please do not do this), p in v, age-gap, fingering (but also not?), dirty talk, missionary, praise kink, creampie, grinding, girthy, age gap (but legal!) age gap, reader isn’t a virgin but it's her first time with joel, reader is afab ||

Notes: It’s finally happening besties!! Enjoy Joel finally giving in to his desires…

18+. Read at your own risk. You are responsible for your own media consumption. Minors DO NOT ENGAGE.

The characters, names and characterizations belong to HBO Max and The Last of Us franchise. This work is my creative property and aside from re-blogs and shares, I do not give permission to share or copy my work without permission or consent.

Previous Chapter.

He stood in front of you, red as a cherry and eyes so wide, you worried they would pop out of his head. “Kiss you?”

You nodded, a soft smirk crinkling your cheeks. He whispered your name and shook his head. His words came out incredulous and shockingly harsh. “I-I can’t kiss you. You’re what? Twenty-six? Twenty-seven?” 

“Twenty-nine.” His face went white.

“Christ.” A hand covered his mouth as he attempted to still his breathing. “I’m too old for you. Jesus there’s twenty-seven years between us. I could be your goddamn father. You don’t need to think about me kissing you and I definitely don’t-” He took a shuddering pause and attempted to collect himself again. 

“You should be kissing guys your own age.” 

You shook your head and pressed your lips together in annoyance. “Oh, like Roddy? Should I let him kiss me?”

His eyes turned to murderous slits. “Don’t even fucking joke like that.” 

A short breath escaped your mouth before you spoke, “Is age the only reason you won’t kiss me? Is that really it?” All he did was stare at you with some combination of a glare and a plea.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, would you kiss me if age wasn’t an issue?” 

He didn’t trust himself to answer you. He didn’t even fully realize the subtle nod he threw your way, not exactly in control of himself at that moment. A nervous and desperate energy buzzed through him, and he squeezed his fists together until his knuckles turned white.

“So kiss me then. I want you to.” Your voice came out in a whisper.

The two of you stood in tense silence, close but not close enough to touch. Finally, he shook his head, definitively rejecting you and looking almost scared of the alternative of letting himself say yes. 

The smirk on your face fell, and you forced yourself to nod and eventually smile. “Goodnight, then, Joel. Thank you again for dinner.” 

You didn’t look at his face as you stepped off the porch, nor did you look back as you walked down his path, onto the road, and around the corner back home. You couldn’t see past the tears in your eyes from the moment’s embarrassment. Rejected by a man whom you had been avoiding just a week before. The irony of it was almost too much.

Back on his porch, Joel wrestled with the morality of the situation. He was old enough to be your father, and here you were asking him to kiss you. He knew he couldn’t simply stop there if he gave in. He would completely ruin you, and it wasn’t fair to you. He paced the length of the porch, occasionally glancing at the yard to see if you would reappear, until he made up his mind. It shouldn’t have even been a question, but his brain wouldn’t move past the hopeful look in your eyes.

He moved off the porch and into the night to retrace your steps until he knocked on that splintered yellow door. 

You opened it with red rimmed eyes, and his gaze immediately softened at your appearance. He was an asshole. Didn’t deserve to be here for making you cry like that. But his feet remained planted. 

“I came to apologize.” You offered him a watery laugh. 

“You tend to do that a lot.” He nodded.

“I reckon I have a lot to be sorry for.”

Your eyebrows creased together. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m sorry for how I acted back at the house. I shouldn’t have let you leave.” He paused and looked at his boots. “And I’m sorry for being unable to stop myself this time. So, I need you to be sure.” He took a step forward. “Do you want this? Really want this?”

You opened the door wider, nodding your head.

He shook his head quickly back and forth. “No. I need to hear you say it.” His voice was shaky. Nervous and unsure. 

“I want it.” All the breath left his body as you moved to let him step inside. He turned to gently close the door and lock it before placing two hands on your hips and twisting you so your back was against the door. 

He wasted no time looking at your flustered form before leaning in. 

The kiss was initially slow, his lips gentle, and his mustache tickling your top lip. But then built as his desperation broke through. He tasted like coffee and lemon cake and less than honorable intentions. He pinned your hips with his and caged you in with his arms. His lips moved urgently, teeth nipping and tongue licking into your mouth. You gasped, and he froze, breaking the kiss and looking at you. 

“You okay?”

You gripped his shirt, breathing heavily and nodding. “Yes, but I won’t be if that’s all you plan on doing.”

He released your name in a strangled breath. You pressed a hand against his chest, causing his eyes to lock on yours, and they stayed there as you walked him backward into your living room. 

His eyes occasionally flitted to your lips, but the look on your face mesmerized him and held his attention. You pushed him onto your couch, and he fell onto the sunken cushions with a grunt. You swallowed nervously before climbing onto his lap and hovering. 

You looked at him beneath you. He was watching you as if you were a goddess come to life. You blushed as he steadied you with his hands and leaned in to kiss him softly. He groaned and bit your lip, causing you to whimper and sink into it. The two of you kissed, fighting one another for dominance and after a few minutes of back and forth, Joel knocked one of his knees to the side, causing you to lose your balance and fall flush against him. You gasped, and he swallowed it with another searing kiss. Okay, I guess he won that one.

You steadied yourself on his shoulders as his hands climbed up your back, slipping his hands under the straps of your sundress and palming the skin like you would disappear in a split second. He slipped the straps off your shoulders and broke the kiss to look at you questioningly. You nodded, and he looked down entranced as he slipped the dress down your chest to your navel. 

He swallowed audibly. No fucking bra. You looked at him, blushing, but he couldn’t rip his gaze away. Nervously, he slid a hand from your shoulder and gently cupped one of the breasts. You closed your eyes, and he froze, just letting the weight of it sit in his hand—another audible swallow.

“Joel.” His eyes flitted to yours, which were now open and searing. Without thinking, you brought a hand up to his and pressed it down. That was the permission he didn’t realize he was waiting for. 

He inhaled and leaned forward, capturing your lips once again in a mind-dizzying tilt as he squeezed and flicked and dug his nails into you. You hissed, not from pain but shock, as he pressed a hand into your stomach, causing you to fall back. He caught you with his hands, which moved quickly to firmly press against your back. 

You watched in desire-tinted fascination as he slipped one perked bud into his mouth, all the while keeping his eyes firmly set on yours. He rolled the nipple between his teeth before releasing it with a pop and moving on to the other breast, repeating the motions. You were a whimpering mess before he released both completely, looking like he could spend all day doing just that and almost pissed he was moving on. 

“Joel?” His eyes were still fixed on your breasts, now covered in his saliva.

“Tell me what you want.” His voice came out gravely, almost like it was punched with holes from disuse. 

You chuckled nervously. “What I want? I thought that was fairly obvious.” He shook his head with clipped movements from side to side, but then met your gaze once again. His eyes were so dark, they were nearly black. 

He slid one of the hands that was still supporting you from the back around your side and down your stomach, slipping underneath the bunched-up dress at your hips and under the snap of elastic holding your underwear together. You watched with wide eyes, locked on his black ones as he swiped his fingers through your wet mess.

“Christ.” He hissed, swallowing and biting his lip like that was the only thing anchoring him. “How long?”

“Probably since you went all caveman and slammed me against the door.” Your breath was shaky and airy. His thumb swiped your clit and a whimper escaped you.

His eyebrows knitted together. “Did I hurt you?” You shook her head quickly, barely able to think as his thumb began to circle. “Good. Because I was thinkin’.” A brief pause. “I could fuck you up against that door. If that’s something you wanted.” All the breath left your body.

“And if I said no?” His thumb stopped its movements, his fingers moving down to circle your entrance. He pressed the heel of his hand against your clit, and you fell forward, your forehead meeting his. 

“Well, you’d be one big fuckin’ tease, but I would be a gentleman and walk out that door.”

You swallowed and tested a roll of your hips against his hand. He hissed. “I don’t want a gentleman right now.”

“What do you want?” Another sharp intake of breath from him and another roll of your hips. 

“I want you to fuck me in my bed first. Then we can talk about up against the door.” Your hips were beginning to move in a rhythm and he continued to watch like his fucking life depended on it. 

He applied more pressure to his hand, still teasingly circling his fingers around your entrance. “Anyone else been in your bed?” You shook your head. “Words, darlin’. I need to hear you use your words.” 

“No.” It came out strangled. You had to rip the vowels from your throat to even attempt to form the words as something bordering on blissful was beginning to crest. 

“So you’re telling me I’ll be the first?” You nodded again, and he applied more pressure.

“Words, darlin’.” 

“Yes.” He nodded as your hips began to lose their rhythm, and you threw your head back as the feeling started to rise. You repeated the affirmation over and over, your movements jerky, and he used his other hand to press you more flush against him by palming your ass. He softly kissed your neck and sank his teeth into the fleshy section between your shoulder and neck, causing you to hiss and his name to escape your mouth in a whimper as everything came crashing over you.

You completely lost any sense of rhythm, letting him take over, guiding your hips and groaning against you as that warm feeling in your lower belly finally snapped.

Once you began to come down from your high, he licked over his bite mark, letting you catch your breath. After a few minutes, he leaned back and admired his work. His eyes flitted from your rosy cheeks to the wet spot on your shoulder to your peaked nipples and finally, to your dress, which was still bunched around your hips.

“I’m gonna ask you one more time darlin’, and then I’ll take you upstairs. Do you want this?” 

You shook your head, and he had already reconciled himself to adjusting his pants and leaving your house for good when he felt a hand pressed against his chest. “You ask me if I want this one more time and I just might have to kick your ass Joel Miller. Take me upstairs.”

He met your sharp gaze with a smirk. “Yes, ma’am.” Within an instant, your legs were wrapped around his waist, his erection pressing up against you through his jeans as he rose from your tangled position on the couch. 

He grunted as he stood, and you smiled, muttering to yourself, “Old man.”

He smirked and nodded, slapping your ass with a biting sting. “Let’s see if you still think that in a few minutes.” 

He took the stairs quickly as if being chased and spun around in confusion on the landing. “Bedroom?”

“To the right.” You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his neck. He groaned.

“Hands to yourself until you’re beneath me.”

You giggled. “My hands have nothing to do with this.” He barreled into your room and barely let his eyes focus on the scattered plants, yellow linen curtains and piles of paperbacks before throwing you on the bed. You yelped in surprise, bouncing from the movement. You sat up, supporting yourself on your elbows and watched dazed as he stepped up to the foot of the bed.

“Eyes on me.” You quirked an eyebrow.

“Giving me orders now, Miller?” He smirked darkly and lightly shrugged his shoulders. 

“That something you like?” You bit your lip and nodded. “Good girl.” Fucking good girl?

Your eyes never left his as he kicked off his boots and socks, unbuttoned his flannel and peeled off a white t-shirt, revealing dark patches of chest hair and a soft belly. Corded planes of muscle, no doubt earned from years surviving in this harsh world, were still present but were softened by age. 

You swallowed as his hands moved to his hips, unbuckling a rusty belt and sliding his denim jeans down in quick movements. He stepped out of them and watched your reaction as you fully took him in. Fucking hell.

He was a decent size, but that wasn’t what caused your throat to dry up. He was thick. “You sure you know what you’re doing with that?”

He rolled his eyes. “Never had any complaints.” You bit your lip as he slowly climbed onto the bed and crawled over you. Hands back to bracketing your form and knee between your legs, knocking them apart. 

“You ever done this before?” You narrowed your eyes at him and nodded with as much sarcasm as you could emote 

He met your narrowed gaze with his own. “Yes, Joel. Although I’m worried it’ll feel like the first time given how thi-”

“No need to feed my ego, darlin’. I’m already between your legs.” You laughed.

“So do something about it.” He smirked and locked his eyes on yours as he slowly slid into your entrance, giving inch by inch in an agonizing pace. Your eyes fluttered closed, and he groaned.

“Relax for me, darlin’. I can’t go any further.” Your eyes flashed open, and you saw he was only halfway in. You nodded and took a deep breath. He leaned forward and kissed you softly. You melted into it, moaning and letting him take control. Before you knew it, he bottomed out and you felt his patch of hair rubbing against your clit. You jerked at the sensation, and he smiled to himself as he continued to kiss you.

“You want it fast or slow?” You hummed as he peppered your jaw with kisses.

“Surprise me.” He shook his head. 

“No. I want to give you what you want. Tell me.”

“Slow.” He nodded but paused as you brought a hand up to his chin, squeezing it and forcing him to look at you. “And hard.”

He nodded again and began to move. You gasped at the sensation of being stretched completely open. Again, how was this man still single, walking around with that between his legs?

At first, he seemed to be holding back. His movements were hard but bordering on civil. “Joel.” He groaned at the sound of your name coming out of his mouth. “Stop being so polite.” You whimpered as he circled his hips, disrupting the rhythm he set. 

“How else am I supposed to fuck Little Miss Sunshine?” A sharp pump of his hips. 

“Joel, please-” His thrusts immediately turned harder, almost hostile, but still maintaining a slow, sensual pace. He grunted from the effort.

“Like she’s fuckin’ burning me up?” His voice was low, almost angry, but when you met his eyes, they were intense but soft. Almost reverent. “God, baby, the way you’re squeezing me.”

You whimpered again, and he used one of his hands to press your thighs further apart. He sat back on his heels, palming the flesh of your thighs and gripping them as he continued to pump his hips.

You were a fucking mess. Not once did his tempo quicken. Every single thrust of those hips set a scattering of stars across your vision. 

You’re not sure how much time passed, but somewhere between minutes and blissful hours, that familiar feeling began to build in your belly. “Joel.”

“I know, baby.” You whimpered again and bucked your hips, desperately meeting his thrust. He immediately moved one of his hands from your thighs to clamp down on your movements. You covered his hand with your own and dug your nails in. 

“Please.” A breath escaped him, and he nodded, watching your hips rise to meet him thrust for thrust. The two of you quickly spiraled into oblivion, punctuated by groans, whimpers and moans. “Joel!”

“That’s it, baby.” He grunted, sounding like this pained him, but the look on his face made it clear he was enjoying every second of this. “Let go for me.” You whimpered again, so close to the edge. Noticing the tears shining at the corner of your eyes, he lifted a hand, licked his thumb and brought it to your clit to rub ferocious circles that bordered on painful. It felt like heaven. 

Your eyes widened when that delicious cord snapped again, and his name tumbled from your lips as your orgasm ripped through you. He grunted from the effort and said your name in warning. “Come inside me, Joel. Please.”

That fucking did it for him. He collapsed on top of you as his own orgasm pulsed through him, and you felt the heat of him invade your every sense. 

The two of you stayed like that for several minutes, the sweat drying sticky on your limbs and your breaths calming down from pants to deep inhales. When he finally rose on his forearms, he captured your lips in a tangled kiss that risked you losing all feeling in your limbs again. The man made you completely senseless. 

As the kiss broke, you moved a hand to push a few sweaty curls off his brow. He grasped the hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently and meeting your eyes nervously. “You feelin’ okay?”

You nodded quietly at first and then smirked. “Feeling like I’m ready to be fucked against a door.” He laughed at that, his eyes crinkling at the corners. 

“Give me a second, darlin’. I think I blacked out there for a second.” 

So you did. The two of you laid there, laughing and drawing patterns on each other’s skin with him still inside you. However, it didn’t take long for a kiss or two to heat things up again and for the pair of you to end up hip to hip, frantically moving as one. 

Against the door. Pinned up against your kitchen counters as he took you from behind. On the couch with you on top. 

The man may have needed a few minutes between each session, but once he was ready, he became insatiable—and you were drunk on the feeling. 

By the time morning light peeked between your living room windows, the sleeping forms of you and Joel barely registered as you lay tangled on the cushions. Your body rose and fell from his deep breaths, supported by his arms locked around you and covered by a threadbare blanket. 

Your aching bodies, well-soothed by a night filled with orgasms, didn’t register the knocking on your door. Not until it turned into pounding.

You lifted your head groggily, clocking the sleeping Miller beneath you and smirking before the insistent banging registered. Confused, you glanced at the door and looked around for an article of clothing to cover yourself with. 

Tossing the blanket over Joel, you spotted a crew neck thrown across your sitting chair and thankfully, piles of folded shorts from your recent bout of laundry. The pounding continued.

Shit. Did you miss a shift? What day was it? “One second!” You cringed to yourself when you saw Joel begin to stir. He opened his eyes and met your panicked expression. “Sorry.” He shook his head in dismissal and slowly sat up. 

You ran to the door and opened it to reveal a smirking Ellie. Double shit.

“Ellie!” You said her name loudly, hoping Joel would miraculously get the cue he needed to get dressed quickly.

The young kid was smirking, immediately noticing the panicked edge to your smiling face. “Can I come in?” 

Your eyes widened to saucers. “I don’t think that’s the best idea, babe. I’m pretty sure I slept in and need to be at the gardens right now and-” 

She pushed past you, rather aggressively for someone her size, and laughed, saying, “It’s seven in the morning.” The laughter only lasted a full second before she shouted, “Dude! What the hell man?! Make yourself decent! There’s kids around.”

You covered your mouth to keep from laughing as you watched Joel nearly fall off the couch, clutching the blanket around his lower half. “Ellie, what the hell are you doing here?!”

Ellie looked at the ground, probably attempting to erase the image of her stand-in father shirtless from her brain. “You’re late for patrol. We were supposed to report to Tommy thirty minutes ago.” 

Joel muttered a shit to himself before taking the stairs up to your bedroom two at a time. The two of you stood in silence, so awkward you could practically feel it suffocating you for a few minutes before Joel came bounding back down the stairs. He clocked you and Ellie, smirking to yourselves, and rolled his eyes before ushering his charge outside.

You expected him to just walk past you, but he paused in the doorway, watching to make sure Ellie kept walking before pinning you against the wall, an inch from the open door. 

“Don’t think I didn’t see your ass sniggering.” You didn’t even have a chance to respond before his lips pressed against yours and his tongue slipped into your mouth, silencing any sort of argument you were going to attempt.

When he broke the kiss, you were breathless, and he was the one smirking as he stepped into the crisp morning air.

Next Chapter.

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